Please Tell Me You Do This...
The Déjà Vu Loop
As some of you may recall, I called my first newsletter, “I Have No Idea What I’m Doing,” and if you thought I was being hyperbolic for the sake of comedy, you were dead wrong. I’m afraid I was really, more or less, future-proofing — lowering or raising expectations depending on what kind of person you are and how much pleasure you take in other people failing, flailing or wailing (though not bailing, by Willy Wonka’s ochre over-the-orchard ornament — ya know, his chocolate cock — sweetly reduced, as if you could reduce it further, to his “cocklate” among his familiars).
When I read the above paragraph to my wife she said, “That’s quite a mouthful!” which I should point out, has never been said by any of Bill’s familiars (they call him Bill around the office — and the bedroom).
But enough about Wonka’s grotesque coterie of confectionary body-mod fiends!
Monday was my birthday. I’d hoped to spend most of my day hunting down old writings for my forthcoming book. My Google Drive was at 71% full, so I decided to create a brand-new account for all my drafts and poem collections.
I went to create a new account, “writingwithdave@gmail.com.” Taken. Shit. Some asshole already got it, I thought. So I spent a good 20 minutes laboring over what a good name would be because mother fuck did I not want to just call it “writingwithdave2” or some other boring advertisement that I’d been late in acquiring my own name. Then, suddenly, a stray, urgent thought: Am I the asshole?
Was it possible I had been the one to take that e-mail address at some earlier date? It took less than thirty seconds to do a search for “writingwithdave” in my recovery account inbox, and:
It was me. I was the asshole.
So I’d already created the account. Fine. Good, even. It would have been nice to have remembered so I didn’t go through unnecessary steps, but if anyone had to beat me to it, I’m glad it was me.
Then it was time to bask in my empty Google Drive for a moment before creating some folders, uploading documents — organizational “type shit” as they say. Actually, I only heard some dude on Love Island Games say “Type shit, type shit” and I don’t think it had any context that I could grapple with. The girl he was talking to seemed to understand.
I go to Drive. There are pages of written pieces. 73 poems. All edited. I did everything I was planning on doing on September 29, 2025 in August of 2024. And then I just fucked off and didn’t come back for over a year.
I added four new poems, disagreed with Past Me on most of the edits, and realized a disturbing pattern was emerging.
Or continuing.
On Tuesday evening I began creating the show art for the latest episode of Star Trek Universe. After a couple of hours a strange, sick feeling of déjà vu washed over me. I immediately stopped and looked at my artwork folder. I’d created the artwork already — some two or three weeks prior.
I quickly deleted what I was working on (no need to get caught up in comparisons and let that hinder me).
I began editing the audio. I lined my file up with Euphemia Ophelders’ file, and got about halfway through the edit before I thought, Fuck does this feel familiar. Once again I immediately stopped and looked at my folder where I keep finished episodes.
And there it was.
While speaking with Effie I did realize that when I “fucked off” last year after editing those 73 pieces? I started a mad-dash doing house projects — fixing up the guest room and readying things for Effie to visit from Netherlands. Then Effie was here for 3 weeks, followed immediately by readying things for Christmas and the holidays. Immediately after that I got quite sick which resulted in some imaging that frankly jump-started a series of health scares. I only recently emerged from seasonal and health-scare depression looking to get back to doing things that remind me I’m still here.
The show art and editing debacle? Look, man, like I said, this is all a pattern. I’m incredibly ADHD, and I have a lot of interests. I’m trying to tackle everything I want to do, and sometimes I just run on fumes and forget what I’ve already done. I can’t even figure out how to get through the maze because I just keep making the same turns and circling the hedge.
Please tell me you do this — or have done this. I can’t be alone!
Since We Last Spoke…
I created a new header image over on DC on SCREEN:
I was thinking “first, latest and everything in-between.”
Speaking of image designs, here’s the show art from my podcasts this week:
Speaking of those…
Podcasts
DC ON SCREEN
Jason Goss and I are keeping up with our reviews of James Gunn’s Peacemaker! This coming Thursday is the massive double-sized finale, and I can’t wait to see it!
Star Trek Universe
I had a hell of a great time reviewing Star Trek 2x17 - “The Gamesters of Triskelion” with first-time Trek watcher Euphemia Ophelders! We’re laughing like hyenas over the horrid ‘60s sensibilities that lead to Kirk kissing this poor thrall and sucker-punching her — don’t worry, there are plenty of lowbrow jokes, but also highbrow musings that are fighting like the dickens to peek out.
That’s it for now!
Uh…
Bye!